Have you tried directing her to an incompatible behavior i.e. grabbing a certain toy, or taught a chain such as bringing a toy to your bed, etc.? The punishments haven't worked because it's most likely that she's whining due to anxiety, and it's hard to quash that (like trying to not smile when something's funny). You can try giving her a treat when someone comes in, but since she's probably not upset about which person/animal has entered, but rather just disconcerted because your joint 'den' has been invaded, that may not be enough. Getting her to redirect her energy through training/directing her behavior both reinforces your communication with her, and gives her something to do when she's faced with the 'invasion.' You can see if your siblings will help you with some setups.
The same thing will help with her greeting people. In the canine world, greetings and arrivals can be tense times. Teaching her to show people her new toy both gives her something to do when people enter, and gives her a means of establishing a relationship with them. Most people will interact with a dog carrying a toy, and those that don't, Missy will know they are benign and uninterested in her. So instead of "OMG who's this, what're we going to do?" she's got a task and a means of establishing who's friendly and who is aloof but ok.
As far as her tucking up in her bed, it's because she's reading your body language and knows you're annoyed. Dogs read us extremely closely!
